Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Here I go again...

Once again, as the new year approaches, I find myself feeling simultaneously defeated and optimistic. Defeated, because 2015 was such an awful year for me and optimistic because there are so many opportunities available to me for a successful 2016.

I began 2015 with a telephone call from my manager informing me that due to my injury and subsequent restrictions, I did not need to return to work until further notice. I thought nothing of it. I figured a couple days, maybe a week or two of resting my foot and utilizing the brace I was given and I would be back to work without an issue. Well, needless to say, that never happened. My injury hasn't healed, I was eventually terminated because I was no longer able to perform my job functions as a flight nurse. That day absolutely devastated me. Are there much worse things that could have happened this year? Of course there are. Am I generally grateful for my life, my family and my overall health? Of course I am. That doesn't, however, minimize the pain of being told that I was no longer good enough to continue in the job i loved.

I am grieving. Grieving a job sounds ridiculous, even to me. I have found, in retrospect, that as much as I didn't believe it, I had completely invested my total persona in my work. I had no friends outside of that "circle", I had no interests outside of my profession and unfortunately, I had no additional skills or education either. Now I must find out who I am now, as an almost 50 year old woman facing a major life change. I must balance my grief over the loss with the excitement and optimism of pursuing my passion. I suppose it's all in perspective.

It's time to refocus. To realize what's gone is gone and that not many people have the opportunity to work their dream job for as long as I have.  To embrace as my future the freedom and flexibility to be available to my family, to pursue my passions and my creativity and to build an empire of my choosing when I so choose.

2016 will be my year. I will see great growth personally, spiritually, creatively and professionally. I will defeat this monster black cloud that hovers daily in my mind and succeed beyond anyone's imagination. Don't tell me I can't for that will simply insure my success.

Here's to 2016, balance, success, happiness and prosperity.